I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
