3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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