vagina is talking i cant
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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