what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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