I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
