He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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