My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
