New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
