My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
