apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
