those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
sex in a hospital.. check
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
