2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Found your dick twin last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
