Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
