i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize