So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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