what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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