my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
