Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm really busy with my period
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