We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
