you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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