I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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