New low: just hacked my moms facebook
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
