did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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