You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ok first of all what the fuck
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize