Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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