Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
