butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
