Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
