I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
