in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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