quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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