when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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