i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
