He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
