we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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