May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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