You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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