Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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