If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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