It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
