It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
