just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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