I wish I could teleport
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
