I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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