Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
