Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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