So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
