just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize