It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize