Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
