Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize