If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
