We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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