First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
