girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
