id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
