She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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