Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
