Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
