I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He passed out mid-signature
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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