So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
