He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
