Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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