just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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