if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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